What Not to Do After a Break Up?

posted by Chris Valentine

When things go wrong in a relationship and a heart-wrenching break up takes place, it’s never easy to deal with. You feel lost and helpless, and it can really take a toll on a person in a real and messy way, to the point where they can become depressed and non-functional. Luckily, there are plenty of guides and friends to tell us what we need to do in order to move on- but what about what not to do? It’s just as important to know about the things you’re not meant to do, and this is why we’ve gotten a couple of tips to tell you what is an absolute no-no after a break up.

Don’t get in touch with the ex

Easier said than done, we know. But this is the ultimate set back. In your mind, you’re just checking in, making sure they’re okay, you’re not crossing any lines. But the truth is, you’re only stopping yourself from moving on and nothing good will ever come out of it. Advice from claims that even if your ex gets in touch with you, try your best to detach unless it’s an emergency or they do it a lot. 

However, keep in mind that in many cases, you’re both confused and are having a difficult time letting go and it could be very risky to allow things to linger when there’s clearly no hope. It’s definitely not even an option to stay friends- not until a considerable amount of time has passed and you’ve completely moved on. Only then can you think about being friends. Staying in touch in general only complicates and slows down the healing process, making it all the more painful for you.

Stop asking about them and stalking on social media

Again, you may think that this is harmless and that you’re only doing this to make sure that they’re okay, or that you just want to know about what’s going on in your ex’s life to help you feel better. Well, guess what? You’re not going to feel better- at all! The aim towards getting over a heartbreak and getting past the horrible feelings after a break up is to detach. If you continue to ask about them and continue to look at their social media pages, you will make this process close to impossible. 

It would be a good idea to keep yourself away from their social media pages and have their posts not appear at all so that you can have a chance to get on with your life. No one will assume that you’re a horrible person for not asking about them and the world will not come crashing down around you if you don’t know what’s going on in their life. It may seem that way at first, but once you get the hang of no longer paying attention to what they do or don’t do, you’ll find that you’ll have a better chance of really taking care of yourself and moving on.

Do not draw comparisons

The worst thing you can do after a break up is drawing comparisons. And what we mean by this goes both ways. You’ll find that you compare all the other people you meet with your ex, and you’ll sit and compare yourself to their new partner. Don’t do that. All you’re doing is slowly chipping away at everything that has substance in your life. It’s important for you to realize that you are unique and it’s impossible to draw comparisons because no two people are the same. The break up happened because you ere no longer compatible and you’re not meant to be with each other. 

So why compare other people to this person since they’re not right to begin with? Why compare yourself to somebody else when you know that deep down, you are a good person, and you also know nothing about this other individual? Don’t make your life more complex than it should be. Work on you and focus on what you need to do to be a happier person.

While it’s important to detach and have some alone time to be able to get through a heavy break up, it’s just as important that you don’t detach in a way that takes a toll on your social life. Don’t shut the world out and rely on those closest to you to help you move forward. Follow the tips provided and don’t do anything that will cause you more pain and slow the healing process down, no matter how harmless you may believe it to be.

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