Weird Stuff

Odd and Weird Christmas Gifts

posted by Chris Valentine

Here’s our recommendations for some odd and weird Christmas gifts. Get them for your loved ones, or leave them on the doorstep of your enemies.

Remember, this holiday season: keep it weird.

Weird Christmas Gifts 2012

Accoutrements Yodelling Pickle

It’s a pickle. That yodels when you press a button. You’ve all been asking for this – finally somebody has answered! (You were asking for this, right?)
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Cards Against Humanity

Cards Against Humanity is a party game for horrible people. Unlike most of the party games you’ve played before, Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends. The game is simple: each round, one player asks a question from a Black Card, and everyone else answers with their funniest White Card. For example, a black card may have the question “What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?” You may select among white cards that say “Lumberjack Fantasies” or “Lockjaw” or “Grandma.” We are thinking that this game goes well with booze (and immaturity).
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Racing Grannies

Thanks to the Racing Grannies, you get a glimpse of how funny would it be to spike your Nans tea with some guarana. Wind them up and watch them go. Nursing home set not available.
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BACON Retro Tube Socks

This sock features “BACON” spelled out in block letters down each calf, with 2 white stripes around the knee. Design is woven-in, not screen-printed. Compared to Bakon Vodka and Bacon Scented Air Freshener, this is a “normal” purchase.
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Nose Shower Gel Dispenser

Nothing says clean like rubbing snot in your hair! Just squeeze the enormous sniffer to make boogery green shower gel ooze out. The perfect holiday gag gift! Or just get it for your White Elephant party.
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Absinthe Flavored Gumballs in Tin

Look, you’re not Oscar Wilde or Vincent van Gogh or Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. And you can’t really afford real absinthe. But you can totally afford these Absinthe Gumballs which are anise-flavored. Let us know if you hallucinate something cool.
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Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

Every neighborhood has a crazy cat lady. You know the type – now get them a little something for Christmas! They’re gonna be mad at you for trapping their cats and sending them off to the shelter; this is a perfect time to get back on their good side.
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Maybe You Touched Your Genitals Hand Sanitizer

Stuff somebody’s stocking with this hand sanitizer. Makes for a great gag gift too. Some people like to use this product … alot. If you get our drift.
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How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You’s most popular cat jokes, including “How to Pet a Kitty” and “The Bobcats,” plus 15 new and never-before-seen cat-themed comics. Includes pull-out poster! Warning: If your cat is kneading you, that’s not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. Remember: If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn’t a gift. It’s a warning.
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Awkward Family Pet Photos

From the people who brought you Awkward Family Photos, comes this hilarious tribute to the unbreakable and sometimes uncomfortable bond between people and their pets. “This is the best book of embarrassing and strange photos of people who look like my family that I have ever seen.” -Judd Apatow
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Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Extraordinary Book of Facts And Bizarre Information

Flush with odd information about sports, movies, music, politics, American and world history, this book contains fascinating narratives, trivia, lists, quotes, facts, findings, and historical tidbits. Learn something strange when answering nature’s call, or anytime, really.
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Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Special Edition 2013

Another year’s worth of wild and wacky information from Ripley’s Believe It or Not! This 144 page, 2013 edition features weird stories like rainbow clouds in the Himalayas, a Chinese building in shape of teapot, a woman who’s worn and lived in pink clothes for 25 years, a kidney stone the size of a coconut, bed sheets that cost $150,000, running a marathon underwater, and lots more.
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The Onion Book of Known Knowledge: A Definitive Encyclopaedia Of Existing Information

Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion’s compendium of all things known.
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The Films of Alejandro Jodorowsky (Fando y Lis / El Topo / The Holy Mountain)

“Hey! I’ve seen Mulholland Dr.! That movie was really weird!” Friend, you have no idea what weird is. Let filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky school you in the ways of bizarre cinema. After you watch El Topo and The Holy Mountain, you may never be the same again.
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