A Female’s Guide To Become Better In Bed

posted by Chris Valentine

Sex is simple yet complicated at the same time. While the act itself is ingrained in human instinct, it takes effort to make it worthwhile and enjoyable for both partners. More so, pleasure can be a bit of a challenge to achieve unless your partner is that type to get turned on by a single touch. 

And suppose you’re a lady who wants to improve her skills in the bedroom. In such a case, here are some tips to guide you and help make the best intimate nights for you and your partner.

1. Bring Out The Toys

Human bodies can only do so much to please another. Hands and fingers are great, but sex toys can make things more fantastic and elevate your life inside the bedroom. Reportedly, couples who use sexual devices have better sex and sex life in general. Both parties also tend to feel intense satisfaction after orgasm with a sex toy.

These toys can be excellent for exploring each other’s bodies, even your own. Using a sex toy helps you discover your or your lover’s stimulation points and trigger pleasurable sensations in between lovemaking. Surprise your partner with a jolt of pleasure whenever you sense the sexual high fizzling down. 

In addition, men generally enjoy being on the receiving end as equally as using it on their female partners. And so, collect and use a few sex toys to see which ones make both of you feel satisfied after a session. They’re fun for new partners and the perfect tools for long-time couples looking to spruce up their sex life.

2. Get Full-on Kissing

Kissing isn’t only an act of love but is also a proven way to send those libido signals flying. Sharing a deep, passionate kiss with your partner can increase dopamine levels, known as the ‘pleasure chemical,’ in you both. This spike of desire adds spice to the next steps you’ll take in bed, leading to a more intense lovemaking session.

And so, during an intimate moment, don’t rush it. Instead, take your time to get lost in the heat of your kiss. Then try moving slowly, like tracing your partner’s lips with yours, before going all in. You can gently nip their lower lip with your teeth, then kiss their jawline down to their neck before going back to their lips.

This teasing can help boost your lover’s excitement and dopamine so they can pleasure you the same way. Note that it’s not — and shouldn’t be — a one-way street when you two have sex.

3. Use Your Voice

Perhaps, there may be some cases where you felt too shy to make even the slightest noise. But here’s a tip, don’t hold yourself back. Let your partner know they’re doing something good by reacting vocally. Doing this can send a message of confidence and that you own your sexuality. More so, expressing pleasure could get your lover’s blood pumping and arouse them even more. Feel free to breathe heavily, moan, or groan when they touch you in places that make you peak. 

Aside from conveying your satisfaction with sounds, use words. Your partner must be aware that you’re enjoying the moment. Don’t be afraid to inform them if you want to change positions. Try lowering your voice slightly when speaking and adding a little rasp when you do pillow talk. Many people find bedroom voices sexy and desirable, and it’s also a major turn-on for most.  

 4. Lube Up

It’s a misconception that women don’t need lube since they can get ‘wet’ naturally anyway. Whether or not you’re using sex toys and no matter the situation, you still need good old lubricant to make your sexual encounters more comfortable and pleasurable. Forgoing lube can sometimes lead to painful circumstances, like irritation during and after sex. Furthermore, friction from rough sex may lead to vaginal tearing. 

There are various kinds of lubricants to choose from. Although, it’s recommended to use lubes with no dyes or fragrances if you plan to use one for the first time. You never know if you or your partner is allergic to specific chemicals. Some are water-based, while others are silicone-based. You may find oil-based lubes or even hybrid ones, too.

When choosing a lube, check for reviews on particular brands online to see the pros and cons of each product. Pick one that you think you and your partner will benefit the most from to have a smooth night together.

5. Be Bold, Be Confident

There’s nothing more alluring than having a confident sexual partner in bed. Yours might want to see some feistiness in you once you dive into the sheets. 

Gaining confidence isn’t easy, especially in oneself and one’s own body. But part of being a better partner in bed is also knowing yourself first. This means finding out what pleasures you through masturbation. Self-play, for instance, allows you to explore your body and discover what makes you squeak. Once you join your partner in the bedroom, you can lead them to those places on your body while you study theirs.

Try to initiate new things, like another sex position or a new toy. You could even wear lingerie that shows off your best parts. Straddle your partner when it’s your turn to take the reins. And don’t forget to ask them what they want and fulfill their wishes the best way you can. Know that lack of communication is a common mistake in sex many couples commit, hindering them from maximizing their sex life. 


Lovemaking isn’t only about the sexual drive. There’s an emotional component people seek from their partners during the act. Women, in particular, may find pleasing their lovers in bed as an obstacle. Making love requires a balance of focus and letting yourself go. As long as you’re confident enough to try something new and put in the extra effort, you and your lover will always enjoy each other’s touch and company.

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