Weird News Stories

Lolrus Says: Don’t Buy Homes You Can’t Afford

posted by Chris Valentine

BBC News has an amusing article regarding the mortgage crisis. Below are quotes from some of their readers. For added amusement, we post responses from resident mortgage expert, LOLRUS.

Reta Sanden from Turlock, California:

I am a realtor in the Central Valley of California, one of the hardest hit areas in the recent housing crunch. I too own a home, and my husband and I are struggling not just because I am not making any commissions lately, but because everything is going up – food, gas, taxes, you name it. We refinanced our home in November 2005 to do some much needed improvements. Now our adjustable rate mortgage is due to adjust in November. We are not sure what it will adjust to which is very worrying as my income has been greatly affected recently.
Banks used to be happy to talk to us and lend us money. Now we really need help and they don’t want to know us. We want to keep our home, and make the payments but if banks are going to turn their backs on us, then they deserve the losses they incur. Unless people are relieved of their prior credit damages, and are given a reasonable chance to pay back their debts, then they are in serious trouble.

Lolrus says:

Scuse, please? Why? Why come you buy ARM? Why not purchase bucket at affordable fixed rates? Scuse, as a realtor you should knows better. Me wish could lives in California but too expensive. Good fish there.

Cindy from Kansas City, Missouri:

We have an adjustable rate mortgage from one of the sub-prime lenders. We had a terrible financial year last year and fell behind in paying off our credit cards. As a result our credit is even worse this year and now as our mortgage goes up, we can’t refinance due to horrible credit. If we could get a loan to consolidate all our payments into a new mortgage, we would be so much better off, but that isn’t possible now and this whole situation has become a catch-22. Our ARM has gone up twice this year and I am afraid if it keeps up at this rate, I might not be able to stay on top of things. It would be great if these lenders could appreciate that although a lot of us don’t have good credit, we could still make the payments if they would just give us a chance – before we lose our home.

Lolrus says:

Scuse, please? Why come you amass credit card debt and mortage debt? Why buy bucket at subprime when you no has money? No fish to use as collateral? Credit bad because you buy too much fish. Better to live in smaller bucket, me thinks. You buy bucket, you lie in it.

Angela Kinari from Eugene, Oregon:

I own a small mortgage brokerage company. This was one of the worst summers I have seen in my five years in the business. I have found that although many people want to refinance, many of them are unable to do so because of new guidelines that lenders have imposed. If truth be told, (subprime loans) are difficult to process and in my experience, the clients tended to be difficult to work with – either in proving their income or having high debt. I am worried as I am the breadwinner in the family.

Lolrus says:

Scuse, please? Why come you bring home bread when fish much better? Fish has better nutrients for you. Better to eat fish than bread. Unless you make fish sandwich. Me thinks you better off in another profession also. Why come you facilitate bad loans for unaffordable buckets? Probably not good idea for yous. Must now pay price in appreciated fish.

Jenna from Houston, Texas:

I am a loan officer working in sub-prime lending. At the present time, I am looking for a job in other industries as we are facing a 20% reduction in our company. I have learned that lending to people with spotty credit and the promotion of ARMs was not the best of ideas. My advice to anyone buying a home is – make sure your credit is excellent, put at least 10%-20% down as a deposit, and never ever get an adjustable rate mortgage (ARM), unless you plan on selling before it adjusts.

Lolrus says:

Scuse, please? How can sell a bucket in a saturated bucket market? Too many buckets already to try to sell before ARM adjustment. Me thinks not work. Why you thinks it work? Maybe because you bring home fish from bad subprime business. Now you thinks not good idea. Perhaps better to knows not good idea last year. Wake ups one day with fish eaten, and bucket stolen.

Marc Cardullo from Saco, Maine:

As a mortgage loan officer, the bad news pours in from across the industry on a daily basis. I blame the government for not regulating our business more, like they do with banks. They should have seen this coming. I blame homeowners for basically using the equity on their homes as an ATM machine. I blame the banks and lenders for approving people for homes who had no business buying one in the first place. I also blame the banks and lenders for coming up with teaser rates and interest-only products that are confusing to your average American consumer. Overall, things are not good here and my guess is it is going to get worse before it gets better.

Lolrus says:

Scuse, please? Why blames all but yourself? Yous loan officer. Yous like selling fish to fish addicts. Yous facilitate fish addiction. And now you blames government. “Sorry, yous has bad credit and massive debt on Visa cards, and bad investments get pooled into worthless funds. But mes help you anyway because mes loan officer and likes money so can buy fish at market later. And get a nice shiny gold bucket to sleep in.” I wishes! Heart bleeds for loan officer. You probably one who help steals my bucket. Oh how me wishes for bucket back. Or at least a nice piece of fish!

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