Going through a divorce is one of the hardest things you may have to do in your life.
The day that you said “I do” was the day that you dedicated your entire life to another human being. It doesn’t matter if you were betrayed, lied to, or if it just doesn’t work out, it still hurts.
It’s important to remember is that just because your marriage has died doesn’t mean you have. It’s time to throw away the potato chips and get off the couch. Turn off the sad music and stop watching the Hallmark movies.
Today is a new day and it is time to take a shower, get dressed, and start working on you.
When most of us are in this situation we don’t really know where to start, so remember you aren’t alone here. That’s why we’ve got your back.
Read it on to learn 4 proven ways to help you learn how to move on from a divorce.
Finalize All of the Paperwork
First off, and we cannot stress this enough, finalize all of the paperwork as quickly as possible.
If you are 100% sure that your marriage has no hope of recovery and a divorce is imminent, there’s no sense in dragging out the paperwork process.
Court battles can take a long time, especially if you have children or if there is a lot of money involved. The longer you let the process take, the harder it is going to be for you to move on.
Make sure that you have discussed all of the paperwork with the divorce attorney. It doesn’t matter if you still get along with your spouse or not, you should always consult a professional when it comes to the paperwork.
Once you both have signed your final signatures you’re going to feel as if weight is being lifted off of your chest. This is not to say that the knot in your stomach will go away as soon as the papers are filed, rather that you have finally given yourself the opportunity to start untangling that knot.
Allow Yourself Time to Grieve
Yes, grieving is a natural part of recovering from a divorce. No, someone doesn’t half to die in order for you to go through the grieving process.
Several studies have shown that a person who has just been through a major break up shows very similar if not the same signs of that of a person who is grieving a recent death.
The grieving process is going to take you through several stages, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
Now listen, no matter how strong you think you are, the grieving process spares no one. You will go through all of the stages, and you likely won’t know what stage you’re in until you’ve almost completed it.
It’s important to understand that this is all completely natural. Don’t be hard on yourself if you find that you’re stuck in the grieving loop. It happens to all of us.
As they say, “Time heals all wounds. You just have to give time some time.“
Take Notice of Your Thoughts
It’s easy to find yourself spiraling down the rabbit hole, especially if you find yourself in a room alone.
One of the hardest things for us to control is our thoughts. Unfortunately, it’s common for us to feel at fault during a divorce. “I could’ve “, “I shouldn’t“, “but I didn’t“.
You have to understand that these destructive thoughts are just that, destructive. No matter who is at fault, these thoughts will do nothing but give you anxiety and ultimately destroy you.
The first step in controlling your thoughts is listening to them. Be mindful when you have stray thoughts running through your mind and listen to them.
Ask yourself, “is this true?“ If the answer is no, then it will be easier to banish those thoughts from your mind.
Don’t Close Doors, Open Them
It’s easy to shut out the rest of the world when you’re grieving. It’s easy to say no to guests and dinner parties when you’d rather be sitting at home eating ice cream out of the tub.
If you truly want to move on as quickly as possible from this divorce, you can’t isolate yourself. Isolating yourself will do nothing for your self-esteem or self-worth.
Talk to people. Even if you can’t bring yourself to talk to your family and friends, you can at least talk to strangers. It’s easier to talk to a stranger because you know that even if they do judge you it won’t matter.
So say yes to phone calls and dinner dates with friends. Say yes to company, and say yes to grieving.
Learning How to Move on from a Divorce: You’re Not Alone
Divorce is never easy for anyone, No matter how many times you’ve been through it. If you follow our suggested steps, you might just be able to soften the blow.
Learning how to move on from a divorce doesn’t have to be a solo act. Remember to open up to your friends and family about the emotions that you’re feeling. Acknowledging yourself is the fastest way to process emotions. Processing these emotions is what is going to move you through the grieving process as quickly as possible.
If you’re feeling stuck in the grieving process, check out our other articles on health and wellness.