This is a massive story… in Smithfield, Utah. A 14 year old paperboy was chased up a tree by somebody’s pet goat named Voledmort! Jaxon Gessel was delivering papers when Voldemort the Goat knocked him off his bike with a head-butt. After he ran up a nearby tree, he sat there for an hour, staring at The-Goat-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named who was staring back. He was finally convinced to do something when the goat started harassing some girls walking by. He didn’t want to look like a wuss, mind you.
Goats Are The Natural Enemies Of Paperboys
Marissa Benson, the goat’s owner, says he’s really good, especially with kids. Which is why he was called Voldemort, naturally.
Gessel later got a teasing from classmates, calling him “Goat Boy.”
“People are just like, ‘Why are you scared of goats? I’m like that was a freaky goat. I think it’s like possessed or something.”
We’re sure the teasing is only temporary, and the nickname won’t stick. Right?
Source: KSL
In other Smithfield news, absolutely nothing happened whatsoever.
