Excuse us for a second while we try to stop laughing.

Ok, it starts with this story from MSNBC:

Free EA software release spawns “sporn”

It’s a double-edged sword, this user-generated content thing

It’s a simple equation that marketers can’t seem to grasp: The Internet plus free modeling tools equals giant dancing penises.

So it goes for Creature Creator, the free trial tool Electronic Arts released on Tuesday to herald the marketing blitz for the September shipment of its long-awaited Spore game. It’s the latest creation from legendary game designer Will Wright. You know, the guy behind the iconic Sims series. Gamers couldn’t wait to get their mitts on the free software which they downloaded by the thousands.

With the Creature Creator, you can make your own creatures, get them to dance around, and of course, upload them to YouTube.

You can also make Spore porn, or sporn - fantastical creations of a less imaginary, more anatomical nature.

It’s a double-edged sword, this user-generated content. On the one hand, it’s laudable to create a community around a game… On the other hand, not everyone’s well-behaved on the Internet. And if EA didn’t know that, they found that out right quick with the Creature Creator.

“Well, I guess we know what every half-wit will be posting pictures of from now on,” lamented one commenter on game site Rock, Paper, Shotgun.

Yes. Half-wits like us!

The following is Not Safe For Work:

And of course - you knew somebody would do it - the Goatse creature.

You people are twisted!

You heard it right.
Source: CBS

A dwarf charged with prostituting an underage runaway will appear in Kings County, N.Y. Supreme Court on Monday. Jacqueline Green, a.k.a. ‘Shorty,’ due to her 3 foot 9 inch height, is charged with promoting prostitution and child endangerment for allegedly pimping a 15-year-old that ran away from a troubled home.

According to published reports, Green is accused of using her Bedford-Stuyvesant apartment as a sex pad for clients who paid $250 per half-hour for intercourse, and $100 per half-hour of oral sex. Clients were found using Craigslist.

Green, 26, pleaded not guilty to all charges. The teenage girl was returned to her family. It is not clear how the two met. Neighbors at Green’s Brooklyn housing project were not surprised by the arrest, where she was described as a “hustler,” and a “player.” Reginald Forden told the Post “I didn’t know she was a pimp, but I’m not surprised.”

Green’s Bedford-Stuyvesant sex-pad apartment is located at 555 Quincy St.

Shrimp Pimp On Da Block!

We can’t help but think of Debbie Lee Carrington from Total Recall:

“If you need any help with this one, give me a holler!”

Gloucester Teens Had Pact To Get Pregnant - And They Did!

source: WBZTV

There’s a stunning twist to the sudden rise in teen pregnancies at Gloucester High School (Gloucester, Massachusetts). 17 students there are expecting and, according to a published report, most of them became that way on purpose. Time Magazine is reporting that nearly half of the girls confessed to making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. None of the girls is older than 16.

Principal Joseph Sullivan told Time: “We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy,”

Normally, the school has about four pregnancies per school year.

According to Time, school officials started looking into the spike in pregnancies after an unusual number of girls came to the school clinic for pregnancy tests. “Some girls seemed more upset when they weren’t pregnant than when they were,” Sullivan told the magazine.

A recent graduate who had a baby during her freshman year told Time she knows why the girls wanted to get pregnant. “They’re so excited to finally have someone to love them unconditionally,” Amanda Ireland, 18, said. “I try to explain it’s hard to feel loved when an infant is screaming to be fed at 3 a.m.”

Video Link

Gloucester High School Students Waiting For Their Test Results

From Reuters:

One of the last shipments to a U.S. research base in Antarctica before the onset of winter darkness was a year’s supply of condoms.

Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them.

The base only has a skeleton staff through the long winter (125 scientists and staff). “Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a little bit uncomfortable,” Henriksen told the Southland Times newspaper.

McMurdo Station

From Wiki:

McMurdo Station is Antarctica’s largest community and a functional, modern day science station, which includes a harbor, 3 airfields, a heliport and over 100 buildings, including a bowling alley with an antique Brunswick manual pinset machine. There is even a 9-hole disc golf course on site. Most of the residents (approximately 1,000 in the summer) are not scientists, but station personnel who are there to provide support for operations, logistics, information technology, construction, and maintenance.

We wonder if McMurdo is anything like Mr. Show’s biosphere.

Ronaldo involved in altercation with transvestites:

AC Milan striker Ronaldo was questioned by police after an altercation with transvestites in a Rio de Janeiro motel on Monday. Ronaldo accused one of the transvestites of trying to extort him.

Ronaldo was tricked! Seriously!

The altercation began when Ronaldo found out he was dealing with transvestites instead of women. Ronaldo admitted he knew they were prostitutes when they met on Sunday night, but did not realize they were transvestites until they got to the motel. Prostitution is not illegal in Brazil.

The striker told police he offered to pay the transvestites anyway, but before he left one of them allegedly asked for 50,000 reals ($A32,000) to hide the story from the media. The transvestite also accused Ronaldo of asking him to buy drugs. In a statement to TV Globo, Ronaldo reiterated he was a victim of extortion and denied he has ever used drugs.

Ronaldo has won two World Cups with Brazil, including the in 2002 when he scored eight goals, including two in the final against Germany.

Dumped By Sponsor:

Ronaldo has lost a lucrative endorsement deal with mobile phone company TIM in the wake of this week’s scandal. TIM canceled a contract worth US $4.8million as the deal included a clause which allowed the company to unilaterally end the deal if Ronaldo was involved in negative publicity.

According to reports in Brazil, Nike are reviewing a lifetime endorsement deal with Ronaldo worth around US $100million.

Ronaldo has remained in Brazil where he is recovering from a knee injury.

Ronaldo has dated three supermodels:

Milene Domingues:

Daniela Cicarelli:

Raica Oliveira:

All three of these girls are extremely hot. However, you can see that their facial features might be interpreted as “less feminine” than other models around the world. (As Austin Powers might say - rather “manish!”) Perhaps Ronaldo really didn’t know he was propositioning trannys. Hey, some of these guys(gals?) could really fool you. Even Ace Ventura was fooled! That type of surgery can be done in a weekend!