5.4 minutes. That’s the average amount of time people spend having sex.
It might not sound like much, but a huge number of guys struggle to last even that long in the sack! For many, the whole event can be done and dusted in a matter of seconds.
Now, we love a quickie as much as the next person. But the sad reality is that countless women struggle to orgasm before their man does, which isn’t fun for anybody. When you walk away unsatisfied every time, it’s natural to wonder how to make a guy last longer in bed.
Thankfully, there are all sorts of ways to do exactly that! With the right insight and approach, you could be spending far more time in the bedroom before you know it. Want to find out how?
Keep reading to learn our top tips for making your man last longer during sex.
The first thing to think about is giving your man the benefit of the doubt- especially when you’ve only just started sleeping together! Instead of making quick conclusions about their bedroom abilities, try to stay patient and assume it’ll get better with time.
Remember, they might be nervous, going through a tough time at work, or just happy to see you in the evening. Any and all of these reasons could be behind their swiftness to orgasm. The result?
They may start performing better as soon as these issues subside. That’s why it’s so important to give your fella enough time and opportunity to prove themselves in the sack! As the jitters fade and their confidence increases, their performance is sure to improve too.
Time and patience are both important. But so too is openness and communication. Nothing gets resolved when you stay silent about unsatisfactory bedroom antics.
Try having a conversation with your partner about your expectations and preferences. Talk to each other about how long you enjoy having sex for, any foreplay preferences you have, and how they can please you a little better. You never know, their speed of ‘arrival’ could be a simple product of wanting a shorter bedroom session than you!
Make sure you’re sensitive about this discussion though. After all, no guy wants to be told they’re bad in the bedroom! Furthermore, it might make them more anxious to please you, which inevitably makes matters even worse.
One thing’s for sure: your man will hate the fact he comes fast as much as you do! In fact, it might be a source of serious discontent within himself. He might feel ‘less of a man’ for being unable to please satisfy you in the sack.
That’s another important reason for being sensitive and full of compassion in any discussions you have around this topic. The last thing you want is to upset the person you care most about!
Put yourself in their shoes and consider how to broach the topic in a way that doesn’t cause undue distress. For example, you could orient the conversation around what you like as opposed to what they’re doing wrong. Making this effort should engender a more positive outcome all-around.
Slow Things Down
Time, understanding, compassion, and communication are all crucial components of dealing with this issue. However, there are definite practical solutions that you can try as well.
And taking things slower in the sack is one of the best options at your disposal. There’s nothing like a rampant bedroom session to lead to an early finish! In other words, the quicker and harder you have sex together, the earlier you can expect it to be over for the man.
By the same token, slowing things down can extend the session.
The next time you and your partner engage in intercourse, encourage them to thrust at a slower rate of knots whenever you send them getting too excited. Take charge of the situation, control the pace, and you’re bound to enjoy elongated bedroom antics.
Stop and Wait
Let’s face it, self-control doesn’t come easy to guys when it comes to having sex. Something primal seems to kick in and their sole focus turns to the task at hand! Thinking clearly becomes a challenge.
However, if they can manage it, then another tactic for delaying ejaculation is to pull out and wait a while whenever they get ‘too excited’. Slowing to a halt will allow the excitement to die down and help them go on for longer.
You might be able to help them do it too!
After all, it’s usually quite obvious when a guy’s going to finish, right? The intensity kicks up a notch, their bodies tense up, and they start breathing a little heavier. You can pay attention to these kinds of behavioral changes and remind them to slow down or stop each time.
Dabble In Outercourse
Stopping in the middle of sexual intercourse to let the man calm down might be practical. But it’s not what you’d call ‘sexy’! It’s like someone’s hit pause on proceedings, which could kill the vibe in some circumstances- especially when you’re close to coming too.
This is where outercourse can come into play (literally).
Basically, as the man approaches orgasm and needs a break, get him to pull out and rub his penis on your clitoris (assuming it won’t push him over the edge!). This can work wonders as a kinky stop-gap in these moments of ‘downtime’. You can enjoy continued stimulation while he gets that all-important reprieve.
Foreplay comes in handy in various ways here too.
For one thing, it’s a great means of warming yourself up before any actual penetration takes place. The result? You close the gap on that fateful orgasm and are more likely to climax whenever your man steps up to the plate (regardless of how long he lasts).
However, you could also use foreplay to make your man come beforehand as well. That might seem counterintuitive, but it’s common knowledge that guys take longer to ejaculate a second time. Do it once during foreplay and (when he’s recharged his batteries) he should be able to meet your needs with greater ease during sex.
Change Things Up (Positions)
Not all positions are made equals when it comes to intercourse. From good old-fashioned missionary to cowgirl and doggy-style, every position in the karma sutra delivers a novel sensory experience to both parties.
As you might know already, they also play a major role in the speed with which you and your partner finish! Or, to put it another way, some positions make people come quicker than others.
For example, doggy style is a classic ‘finisher’ that tends to bring a romp to a close in no time. By comparison, missionary might help your guy keep going for longer. Keep that in mind as you embark on the bid to delay his climax and bring yours on.
Try to find and leverage the sex positions that deliver the best results.
Change Things up (Order of Events)
Switching positions is one effective way to mix things up in the bedroom and make the fun last longer. But it’s by no means the only way to do it. Another option at your disposal is to play with the ‘order of events’.
For most couples, the standard approach to sexual intercourse is a brief period of foreplay (if you’re lucky), followed by penetration. It’s a linear, start to ‘finish’ process that often ends in relief for the guy and disappointment for the gal. There’s nothing stopping you from taking a different tack though.
For example, you could start with foreplay and go to penetration before moving back into more foreplay! Or you could avoid penetrative sex altogether and focus on giving each other a tantric massage. You could dress up, play sexual games, touch yourselves in front of each other, and so on.
Not only will playing around in this way prolong the process, but it’ll also make everything more exciting too!
Change Your Diet
Diet is the perfect example of how lifestyle alterations can help here as well.
For instance, certain foods such as oysters and high-protein meats (such as beef and chicken) are known to increase blood flow around the body. This could, in theory, send more blood to your partner’s penis, thereby improving his sexual performance.
Now, changing his diet might not lead to him lasting longer during sex. But it might improve his libido to a point where he can go again and again until you finish too. And that, at the end of the day, is the goal you’re trying to achieve!
Of course, aside from altering his diet, your man could start taking supplements to improve his performance too. From Viagra to the products you’ll find at https://www.virilx.com, he could experience an array of benefits (such as bigger/harder erections, newfound libido, and greater staying power). Be wary of dubious supplements, though, and always read the reviews to ensure the company is trustworthy and reputable.
Seek Sex Therapy
Remember when we said that poor bedroom performance can occur because the guy’s anxious? Well, it’s true. He’s in his head, so focused on the task at hand and determined not to pop that he makes the very thing happen that he’s trying to avoid.
In other words, that anxiety’s his worst enemy (which makes it yours by default!).
That performance anxiety might go away by itself. But if it lasts for a while and has started to impact your relationship, then it might be worth seeing a professional sex therapist. They’ll be able to work with your partner and provide helpful techniques to beat the anxiety and get better in the bedroom.
Encourage Kegel Exercises
Premature ejaculation isn’t just a mental battle though. There’s a physiological component as well.
To be more precise, your partner’s propensity to pop too soon could be to do with having weak pelvic floor muscles! With a key role in controlling when guys come, strengthening those muscles could provide new and improved ejaculatory regulation. Sound good?
See if your man would be willing to do some kegel exercises.
All they’d have to do is spend time flexing and pushing out on their pelvic floor (the muscle they use whenever they’re mid-flow and have to stop themselves from peeing). With repeated practice, they should get to a point where they can last longer in bed and have better control over their orgasms.
‘Edge’ Your Bets
Let’s talk about masturbation. You do it, they do it- everybody does it! And, if you do it right, masturbation can be another effective way to get your partner to last longer during sex.
Basically, see if they’d be willing to start edging whenever they masturbate. Never heard of it? Don’t worry, we got you:
Edging’s when you take yourself to the brink of orgasm and then stop, wait until the excitement level drops, and then continue. You then repeat this process over and over again until you’re finally ready to finish! In turn, this should train their mind and body to have better control in the bedroom.
Instead of getting over-excited before you’ve finished, they’ll be able to reign it in and let themselves calm down before continuing.
Exactly How to Make a Guy Last Longer in Bed
There’s no denying it, few things in life are more frustrating than being with a guy who finishes too fast in the sack! You’re left unsatisfied, they’re embarrassed, and what should be a magical experience becomes a hodgepodge of negative emotions.
Thankfully, there are all sorts of ways to turn the situation around! With any luck, the tips in this post have shown you exactly how to make a guy last longer in bed. Keep them in mind and you’ll be on your way to a better sex-life in no time.
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