Divorce is a powerful word that evokes a range of emotion for nearly everyone.
Some European countries such as Spain and Portugal have a 60% divorce rate, the United States is at 53%, and Australia a bit lower at 43%. It is hard to believe there is anyone left on Earth that has not, in some way or another, been impacted by a divorce.
Although these statistics seem very doom and gloom, they can lift your spirits a bit if you are feeling alone in the daunting process of approaching a separation. There is a strong and growing research trend on how to avoid messy divorces. If you are thinking of filing for divorce and want to learn more, read on for 4 tips on how to make it through a divorce without disaster.
1) Seek Legal Guidance Immediately
Most likely, divorce is not something you know a lot about.
Even if you have done it once before, a second time will be unique to the first. Seeking legal council will help build the foundation for the type of divorce you want to have, ultimately leading to you getting more of what you want in the end. Choosing a highly respected and experienced firm will ensure you have a kinder more civilised divorce.
There is a way to incorporate compassion and integrity into the divorce process.
One example of a firm that specialises in these types of processes is Marguerite Picard, a divorce lawyer in Melbourne. Before you get too far in the process, find a lawyer, build your foundation, then move forward.
2) Divorce is a Team Sport
Finding the right lawyer is the first integral step, to be followed by the building of the rest of your dream team. Divorce will require support in all facets of your life. Find a well-respected therapist, a highly experienced financial advisor, and build a small group of friends and family who you can lean on. It is not recommended to go through this process alone. Build your support network, and lean on the expertise of those who can help you make this a clean break.
3) Gather your Info
Even before hiring your dream team, begin gathering all of your important financial documents. You may go into divorce believing things will remain amicable, however, it is hard to predict how things will roll out. There is a trend in divorces that turn ugly that critical financial documents go missing, leaving one side of the divorce without access to key information for a fair split up. Gather documents, or demand copies of existing documents.
4) Don’t Lose Yourself
During your divorce, you may not be the best version of yourself.
However, it is in your control not to be the worst version either. Maintaining self-respect and integrity can be challenging with emotions running on high. It is in your best interest (and the best interest of your kids if you have them) to do the hard to work on yourself in parallel to the hard work of a divorce. Things like deep breathing, yoga, exercise and eating healthy may sound silly, but they can make a huge difference in how you maintain your sense of self during a very difficult time. What you are working towards is a sense of resilience so that you can bounce back to a normal life once after the divorce dust settles.
There is no easy, fast, pain-free way of getting through divorce, as passions run high in what used to be a happy relationship.
Even those with the best intentions hit emotional roadblocks that complicate or slow down the process. With good research, a solid plan, and dedication to self-care, a compassionate divorce is possible. Taking guidance from the four steps above, and tailoring it to your specific situation, is a great first start.