Josh Will Deliver Your Message Post-Rapture

Here’s a story about the Post Rapture Post.

About 708 people have paid Josh Witter to be their post-apocalyptic postman, delivering cards and letters to their non-believing friends, relatives and neighbors who will be left behind when the Rapture begins.

As sure as the True Believers are they will escape this earth when the Rapture arrives, Witter is just as certain he will be left behind to deliver their mail. He has committed blasphemy to make sure. “Anyway you look at it, I’m screwed. It’s too late for me,” said Witter, a 24-year-old computer software engineer.

Since 2005, Witter said he has sold more than 200 items, most of them T-shirts and coffee mugs, and many of those (he admits) to friends and fellow atheists. Among the best sellers are the line of I-Told-You-So cards, which sell for $8.

He concedes that delivering on his promise to hand-deliver the cards and letters entrusted to him may be difficult. Witter has read all the books of the popular Left Behind series, so he knows what to expect. Covered with boils, he will have to fight his way through perpetual darkness, clouds of insects, and meteors falling from the sky to deliver the mail. “Your hope lies with me. I am your mailman,” he vows. “I’ll do my best come Hell or high water to deliver those letters.” On the other hand, should the Rapture not arrive in his lifetime, he gets to keep the money, which he promises to use to subsidize his sinful lifestyle.

The Post-Rapture post stands by to deliver your messages!