Weird Stuff

Stating the Obvious

posted by Chris Valentine

Many of us have frequently come across experiments or research studies that sound gibberish. Scientists work on ridiculous experiments and come up with findings that are really just common sense. Most of these studies end up stating the obvious, but not after wasting a lot of money finding out. Their findings generally prove that they are as doped as the junkies on the streets.

For example, for no apparent reason, scientists have started experimenting with the effects of hallucinogenic drugs on elephants. Scientists have been injecting elephants with LSD doses to notice changes in their behavior. Instead of starting with small doses, they pump the elephant with dosages that are 3000 times than those used on humans. They do not take into account that elephants weigh only about 50 times more than an average human being. They come up with excuses when the elephant dies and defend their actions by concluding that elephants are sensitive to LSD. They also state that these types of experiments are conducted often on elephants.

But their coclusions are not nearl as outstanding as those who discovered that f turkeys are in water above their heads, they will drown. Many bogus stories have been written on the stupid nature of turkeys including the fact that they may drown if they were standing out when it rained! Two Penn scientists conducted experiments to prove that turkeys could be aroused easily by even a few sticks. They then began their experiments on the unfortunate female turkey by deconstructing the body parts and checking out the results. They gauged the interest shown by the male turkey in the female and found that the turkeys were aroused when the other bird was stripped down to becoming just a head with a stick.  Scientists then came to the conclusion that turkeys were not only stupid but also perverse!

Some scientists conducted experiments to prove that semen could work as an antidepressant. They interviewed a few sexually active college women and came to the conclusion that women who enjoyed sex without use of condoms were not as depressed as women who used them! There were no findings regarding the males relation to condoms and depression.

Several other studies and experiments are being conducted by these scientists who come up with ridiculous findings. Many of them are already biased when they start on their experiments.  People who bang their heads repeatedly and aggressively can suffer from brain trauma and spinal damage. Scientists believe that you may not become unconscious when you repeatedly bang your head.  They have however come up with suggestions for those bands playing heavy metal. They feel that if mellow tunes were played instead of music that was “beat-oriented”, metal heads would not bang their heads! Another suggestion was to place labels against head-banging on the CDs and listen to heavy metal music that was adult-oriented instead.

Scientists have come up with yet another theory on the reasons for people watching TV instead of spending time with friends. They feel that people who do not socialize but prefer to watch TV remain unhappy.  According to their findings, people prefer to distract their minds by watching TV. They back their findings with 30 years data though they finally come to the conclusion that viewers watch TV because they are addicted.

Finally, scientists in the UK have declared this week that it would be impossible to deep fry food in space, stating that astronauts will never enjoy chips when on a mission. As we could have guessed this anyway, you have to wonder why anyone would think it necessary to test the theory out. Still, I’m a little disappointed…

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