Weird News Stories

Odd North Korea: Drink Taedonggang Beer And Toast To Our Glorious Leader

posted by Chris Valentine

taedonggang_beer
Oh glorious day for North Korea!

Nine years ago, the people, along with our glorious leader, purchased the British-based Ushers Beer Brewery plant and brewing equipment. We used the crude capitalist system of the west to obtain the components needed for the people’s beer. Being British and German based, these components were below par. However, the North Korean people, with the blessing and guidance of our leader, has restored the brewery and named it Taedonggang, after Pyongyang’s beautiful Taedong River, one of the greatest rivers in the world.

Our Pride of Pyongyang now has the honor of being the subject of North Korea’s very first television commercial informational broadcast. This broadcast is designed to better inform the people of the benefits of Taedonggang Beer, which should be consumed whenever possible.


The Korean Central News Agency, the only reputable news source in the world, has this to say about our tasty beer:

The beers including black beer and rice beer made by the Taedonggang Beer Factory are these days popular with the Pyongyang citizens. Beer houses are crowed with working people who look pleased with their successes in the current 150-day campaign. The cold and soft Taedonggang beer rich in gas content immediately came into great favor among the customers by catering to their tastes. The citizens call Taedonggang beer “cold yet warm beer” as it is associated with the warm care of General Secretary Kim Jong Il for the people.

Here is our 2.5 minute informational campaign, which is in no way a television commercial, as commercials are toxic products of the filthy capitalist system of the decadent west. As our broadcast confirms, Taedonggang Beer relieves stress, improves health and encourages longevity.

Be sure to consume two bottles when you drink Taedonggang. One bottle must be consumed in tribute to our leader. The second bottle is consumed in tribute to the glory of the North Korean people.

<em>Delicious beer provides energy requirements to crush our enemies</em>

Delicious beer provides energy requirements to crush our enemies

<em>The west shall certainly be defeated with our methods, which are ISO-9001 certified!</em>

The west shall certainly be defeated with our methods, which are ISO-9001 certified!

<em>Our Dear Leader sampled and approved Taedonggang Beer. The brewmaster on the left was allowed to live that day.</em>

Our Dear Leader sampled and approved Taedonggang Beer. The brewmaster on the left was allowed to live that day.

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1 Comment

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