Crazy Elf Babbles About Dynamite

Elf Mental Health

It’s very stressful being an elf. Sure, Santa has to deliver all the toys you make to millions of kids in one night, and perhaps you don’t have as much pressure as Rudolph, but still – you’re working all year in sweatshop conditions, with poor lighting, freezing weather, 20 hour workdays, and little pay. So naturally, some elves might snap. That’s what happened to this guy:

A “Santa’s elf” jumped on St. Nick’s lap at the Southlake Mall in Morrow, Georgia (suburb of Atlanta) and started babbling about “dynamite,” police said. The suspect was dressed in tights and red-and-green jacket adorned with jingle bells. At just 5 feet and 108 pounds, he was in fact, rather elfin. Guards called in the local cops, who evacuated several thousand shoppers about 7 p.m. while bomb squads were called to search the man’s two duffel bags. No dynamite ever turned up – only a Santa hat, an elf hat and other clothing that belonged to William Caldwell, 45. He was arrested at the scene.

We hope that Santa’s health insurance plan will help poor William get the care he needs.