A Poem About The (First) Pepsi Girl Hallie Eisenberg
Pepsi Girl Hallie Eisenberg – A Poem About That Little Girl Who Talks Like Adult Celebrities!
Written by Bill G on February 21st, 2001 in Celebrities.
Tags: advertising, Odd Food, TV
Hallie Eisenberg will turn 18 this year (2010) but years ago she was just a little girl doing silly Pepsi commercials where her lips moved but you heard an adult’s voice coming out. Anyway, here’s a poem about it.
Written long, long ago (Updated February 2007):
Pepsi
Girl
Why for art thou, Pepsi Girl?
Life is hell because of thee
Thy ramblings are nonsensical
Thy cuteness level not very
Thee has the looks of child of six
Yet, thee speaks in tongues of celebrity has-beens
I cannot reconcile the discrepancy
Surely possessed must thee be
Do not wink at me, Pepsi Girl
Peddling acid drinks to the populace
I decline to become thy next target
Thy cannot sing – do not fool us
Each time I witness Pepsi Girl
A piece of my soul is torn from me
“How cute” a silly woman says
Her soul is gone – a walking zombie
“Kill Your Television” I exclaim
And remove commercial from thy memory
Alas the demon rules the theatre
Damn thee to hell, AMC
I believe I shall kill Pepsi Girl
A well placed bullet hole shall suffice
Use Pepsi Cola to dissolve her corpse
And then I shall have myself a Coke.
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Extra large gets free refill.
*
PS: Just kidding, Hallie.
[...] in its place for the film) and had the time of his life. He channels them times and his life into Pepsi girl’s brother Jesse Eisenberg (The Squid & The Whaler is brilliant as usual), who reluctantly [...]