Global stock markets roared higher on Friday after news of a possible U.S. government plan to rescue banks from toxic mortgage debt raised a collective sense of hope amid the world’s worst financial crisis in decades.

It’s called a “Moral Hazard Party” and everyone on Wall Street is invited!

Obama raises $9 million from the Hollywood crowd.
He partied at the Greystone Mansion and Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel, where dinner cost almost $30,000 a person and Barbra Streisand tickets cost two and a half grand.
Naturally, this set off a series of attacks traded between the Repubs and Demos regarding the supposed elitism of each candidate.
When asked about how the race was so close, Obama said “We don’t Play!”

Yes, I am glad the Olympics are over because now the real competition can begin. I’m talking about Netflix’s own world championship tournament and it’s not in Beijing. It’s in Times Square.

The movie watching marathon that some are calling The Popcorn Bowl will begin on October 2nd in New York’s Times Square and is expected to last until a new Guinness World Record, for most consecutive hours spent watching movies, is set five days later on October 7th.

One missing bit of info, though: What movies are they showing?

Microsoft has spent millions on these commercials starring Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld.
What the hell for? They’re not funny (so in that regard they are exactly like sitcoms), and they sell no products (in that regard that are exactly unlike sitcoms).
Please explain how these spots will get people to run out and buy Vista.

Pamela Anderson loves animals. Sarah Palin also loves animals - on her wall, on her dinner plate, etc.

So imagine Anderson’s response when asked by an E! reporter about a recent Newsweek article, which depicted a giant bear hide in the office of Palin’s house.

“I can’t stand her,” Anderson said. “She can suck it!”

At the Democratic National Convention, one black Clinton supporter accused a black Obama supporter of calling her “Uncle Tom”. It’s nice to see the unifying effect the Clintons have on the campaign, isn’t it? Doesn’t it just warm your heart?

Some idiot in Xenia, Ohio used a Burger King restaurant sink to take a bath in. Since it’s something to be proud of, he had a video of it taken and posted on MySpace. The Greene County Health Commissioner was not amused.
Watch the uncut video here!

It all started when John McCain released the following ad:

With images of Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, the ad states “he’s the biggest celebrity in the world… but is he ready to lead?”
The ad drew ire from the usual suspects, but we had no idea Paris Hilton herself was prepared to come back with this [...]

Woman claims she found ‘Cheesus’ - A Cheeto Looking Like Jesus being Crucified

The power of Cheese commands you!
Kelly Ramey from Missouri says she has found Jesus in a bag of Cheetos. Most of her family and friends believe it looks like a mini orange sculpture of Jesus on the cross. Ramey and her husband call [...]

Excuse us for a second while we try to stop laughing.
Ok, it starts with this story from MSNBC:
Free EA software release spawns “sporn”
It’s a double-edged sword, this user-generated content thing
It’s a simple equation that marketers can’t seem to grasp: The Internet plus free modeling tools equals giant dancing penises.
So it goes for Creature Creator, the [...]