source: Chron

Witnesses deny tot in video was on Ecstasy
Deputies trace 2-year-old and others in van to Harris County
Harris County authorities have located the 2-year-old child who was videotaped on the back-seat floorboard of a moving van while teens joked that she had taken the drug Ecstasy. Lt. John Martin, a spokesman for the Harris County [...]

source: WTOP
In New York, a peacock that roamed into the parking lot of a fast-food restaurant was attacked by a man who vilified the bird as a vampire, animal-control authorities said. Beaten so fiercely that most of his tail feathers fell out, the bird was euthanized, said Richard Gentles, a spokesman for the city’s Center [...]

Mika Brzezinski: I don’t want to do the Paris Hitlon lead story
Producers: Hmm… sounds like an interesting angle. If you can get really pissy about it on live television… play it up and stuff… it might bring new viewers in.
Regular Joe: Of course, you could just not mention her and go straight to the second [...]

Lou Pearlman taken into custody by FBI
Source: LOCAL6 (orlando)
Boy-band mogul Lou Pearlman was arrested and taken into custody by FBI agents Thursday morning in Indonesia. Pearlman, who hadn’t been seen or heard from in months, was turned over to U.S. authorities and was being flown to Guam, the nearest U.S. territory, to have an initial [...]

source:
Paris Hilton was released from jail early Thursday due to an unspecified medical condition after serving only three days of her sentence.
She was sent home with an ankle bracelet and must remain there for 40 days, according to sheriffs spokesman Steve Whitmore.
Hilton checked into the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood on Sunday night to [...]

Cute Little Crime Dog! Stop harassing him, you ugly bitch!
This story comes from Vermont:
A woman facing jail time for “staring” at a police dog had charges against her dropped Monday after an Orange County prosecutor viewed videotape of the alleged crime. Jayna Hutchinson, now of Lebanon, N.H., was scheduled for a jury trial this week [...]

On her first day of a 3 week jail sentence, Paris Hilton was discovered bleeding on her jail cell floor, stabbed in the gut with a homemade knife and anally penetrated with a broken broom handle.

Hilton, before being shivved, raped
“I told you it would happen,” exclaimed Matt Drudge, editor of the Drudge Report. “Well, I [...]

Welcome to Hell.
Thanks to Independent Sources for the heads-up:
Amy used to be kind of hot–in a slutty Long Island crazy kind of way. Unfortunately she was crazy in a homicidal kind of way, and underage too. Her love interest, Joey, was simply a sleaze ball loser. Somehow they found love, that is until Amy popped [...]

S.C. teacher accused of having sex with student:

Kanesa Hopkins: Excellent at Math, Jesus, and perhaps a few other things…
GOOSE CREEK, S.C.
You gotta hand it to 31 year old math teacher Kanesa Hopkins. Not only is she a kindly Sunday school teacher, but she was also named Teacher of the Year by her peers at Westview [...]

Robert Comer never flinched Tuesday morning as he was injected with a lethal cocktail of drugs that put him to death.
His last words: Go, Raiders!