Valley Stream Wal-Mart – 2008 – Long Island, NY
This years Black Friday bum-rush resulted in the death of a poor 34-year old Wal-Mart worker. 2000 people were already waiting outside by the time 5am rolled around. When Jdimytai Damour opened the doors, the crowd knocked him down and trampled him to death.
It should be noted that items on sale at the Valley Stream Wal-Mart included a Samsung 50-inch Plasma HDTV for $798, a Bissel Compact Upright Vacuum for $28, and a Samsung 10.2 megapixel digital camera for $69. Yes, this man’s life was not worth as much as an HDTV. But that is a pretty sweet deal for a 50″ plasma, you gotta admit.
Best Buy Playstation 3 Melee – 2006 – Fresno, CA
Never get in the way of a crazed gamer and his brand new video console. Things get crazy when a Best Buy employee tells people to move against the wall to get in line for the new Playstation 3. Getting a PS3 before everyone else is quite possibly the most important thing you can ever do in your entire lifetime, so you can surely understand when the following happened:
Wal-Mart Stampede – 2005
Another beautiful stampede of an insane mob with one goal in mind – getting as many shitty Chinese-made products for as little money as possible. Watch about 20 seconds in when a poor woman loses her wig. Paramedics earn their pay.
Xbox Fight – Wal-Mart – 2008
Which is better, Xbox or PS3? Well, why don’t we have a fight to decide? First, secure the Xbox. Wal-Mart has one… but only one. Let’s watch:
Wal-Mart PS3 Pole Incident – West Bend, WI
It’s a race for PS3s. But watch out for that pole!
Remember, the most important thing you can do this holiday season is consume. And consume alot! Don’t let your recent layoff, car repo, or home foreclosure distract you from the reason for the season. And that reason is a brand new Blu-Ray player now 75% off! But hurry… there’s only one left.