BA Meter:
All Affleck, All the Time Mostly Affleck Halffleck (ensemble cast) AffSpeck (walk-on)

Daredevil (2003)
Director: Mark Steven Johnson
Starring: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Colin Farrell, Michael Clarke Duncan, Joe Pantoliano

We’re back once again with another edition of Ben Affleck Cinema! And this time around we’ve got a film that features Mr. Affleck in a role that brilliantly mirrors the actor himself - that of a superhero!

As you can see, this is no ordinary superhero - DareDevil is blind! It started when he was 12 years old and living in Hell’s Kitchen, which apparently has a lot of biohazardous materials lying about. Some of this stuff splashed our hero in the eye, causing total blindness, which means he would never be able to see Gigli in all its glory.

Hell’s Kitchen has a lot of toxic waste.
Everybody knows that.

It’s all right, though, since immediately after going blind Matt Murdock develops superhuman hearing and sense of smell. He also becomes a martial arts and acrobatic expert. This is what happens to everyone who becomes blind, so it is not a good idea to pick a fight with a blind person.

every Hollywood actor gets one of these

When he grows up, Matt Murdock takes on two jobs, because BA is not a lazy man. At night he is, of course, Daredevil, the “man without fear”, dispensing justice in those areas not in Batman’s jurisdiction. During the day he is a mild-mannered blind lawyer.

He can’t see how cool he is,
but you can!

One day at the coffee shop, Matt has a meet-cute with Elektra Natchios, who is majorly hot.

I think Matt makes a bad joke about nachos or tacos or something, because they end up fighting in a schoolyard.

Let’s get Reloaded, baby! I’ll be Neo!

DareDevil’s nemesis is Kingpin, who likes cigars, red roses, and apparently, Ving Rhames.

wait for the Wolf, who should be coming directly

Kingpin has hired an Irish assassin called Bullseye. Bullseye can throw objects with deadly accuracy. Why he’s called Bullseye, we are never told.

tats are getting weirder

Bullseye killed Elektra’s dad, using Daredevil’s weapon, so Elektra thinks Daredevil did it! This is the first time in a superhero movie that the superhero has been mistaken for a villain. I’m pretty sure of that.

Ben forgot his umbrella

Kingpin is amused at Ben’s misfortune

Later, Elektra tracks down Daredevil and challenges him.

It’s Elektric!

Then, Bullseye shows up and Elektra realizes who the real bad guy is. But not before wounding our hero!

She’s worried about not being able to match
BA’s acting abilities

Elektra is killed by Bullseye, which really pisses off BenDevil, who fights and defeats him in a church.

Bullseye has Stigmata(tm) because,
um, he’s being sacrificed for, um… Ireland?

Finally BA takes on Kingpin! Kingpin tells his weasely assistant to go home because he wouldn’t understand, not having grown up in the Bronx. Apparently, fighting blind dudes in costumes is part of growing up in the Bronx.

Affleck!

Affleck!

Affleck Serving Kingpin!

Kingpin being served (by Affleck)

With Kingpin defeated, BenDevil must now worry about Cypher outing his ass at the New York Post. No worries - Tank takes him out before he can write anything.

should’a taken the blue pill

We leave you with one final shot of the BenDevilMan:

… because BA will always be blind to the haters, but forever find justice in the city of Hollywood!