Now available for the whole family to enjoy on the Sundance Channel, Green Porno is a series of short films written by, directed by, and starring Isabella Rossellini, which will also air on cell phones. So when you are in line at the post office and see somebody with a cell phone that has some strange woman dressed as a bug and simulating sex on it, don’t freak. It’s just “art”!

In Green Porno, Rossellini re-enacts mating rituals of the dragonfly, spider, bee, praying mantis, worm, snail and housefly. If you were wondering whether the experience of Blue Velvet had affected Rossellini in any way, these films will put that particular question to rest. Gee, thanks, David Lynch.

Take a look at Green Porno if your boss or children aren’t around. Watch Isabella dressed as an earthworm, talking about her anus and slimy body. Listen to her talking about cleaning the dragonfly’s vagina! Entomologists now have their own erotic cinema! The Snail movie is the best. Watch how happy Isabella is when she twists her snail body and exclaims “My anus is at the top of my head!” (She likes to say “anus” alot). “Sadomasichism excites me!” We know.