As you probably know, if Hitler had made it into art school, he may well never have taken over Germany. Well, had Kurt William Havelock been granted his liquor license, he might not have shot up Super Bowl XLII.

Oh… wait. He didn’t shoot up Super Bowl XLII. But he really, really thought about it.

After being denied a liquor license for his concept “haunted bar” Drunkenstein’s, he threatened to kill ‘em all:

“I will test the theory that bullets speak louder than words … I will slay your children. I will shed the blood of the innocent,” Havelock wrote. “No one destroys my dream. No one.”
Magistrate Judge Edward V. Ross said in a hearing in U.S. District Court on Tuesday: “I haven’t read more chilling words, and I’ve been doing this a long time.” Ross found Havelock was a danger to the public and ordered him held without bail.

In October, Havelock was before the Tempe City Council to get approval for a liquor license application for a restaurant called The Haunted Castle, a Halloween-theme bar where horror-theme bands and actors could gather to promote themselves, according to city records.

He was gonna do it, he was really gonna do it!

He drove to different post offices in the West Valley to obtain the envelopes and postage for his copies of the manifesto and mailed them before he went to the parking lot of Jobing.com Arena, which can be seen from University of Phoenix Stadium, where a host of activities were happening before the 4:30 p.m. kickoff.

“He waited about a minute and decided he couldn’t do this,” Thorlin said.

This Bud is NOT FOR YOU

Havelock’s change of heart left Tom Brady’s epic fail in the spotlight, and for that we thank him.