As the drug war continues on with no end in sight, methods of smuggling the stuff become more sophisticated.

5 Odd Ways To Smuggle Drugs

Mail

Sending drugs through the mail isn’t new. For example, in a story from The Argus, a drug gang posted 70 Jiffy envelopes from Lima, Peru to the UK. The envelopes had Peruvian purses containing 35mm film canisters filled with coke. All together about £600,000 worth.

But some of the ways the drugs are packaged are interesting, especially when smuggling the stuff into prisons.

Two standouts:

1. An easter card soaked in Methamphetamine
2. Two postcards ironed together with heroin in between.

Watch this video:

Sports

Doped-up sports stars - well that’s childs play. Shan Herald has a story from 2006 about a woman who tried to smuggle $385,000 worth of heroin out in golf balls. They were headed for Taiwan. Funny, we don’t seem to recall that in the Jack Nicklaus video.

Stuffing tennis balls with pot and throwing them over the wall is pretty creative. But your aim better not suck.

According to the Halifax Courier, a man was arrested for trying to smuggle cannabis and steroids to his brother in prison by lobbing tennis balls over the prison wall. Unfortunately, the balls landed between two fences, out of reach but recovered by authorities. Hey, next time, get Barry Bonds to help!

Animals

Animals are a popular mode of transport.

The most recent one is a bizarre case of cocaine being smuggled in insects. According to Common Wealth Times and Expatica, customs officials in Amsterdam intercepted a package of 100 dead insects, which had been cut open and stuffed with drugs, about 300 grams of coke (about $11,000).

We wish it was only insects. Asshole drug dealers aren’t above using puppies. According to Times Online, a Colombian gang tried to smuggle heroin into the U.S. by implanting more than 6.5 pounds of the liquid stuff into the dogs. Had the dogs made it to the states, they would have been cut open to recover the drugs.

Um, we ordered Purina, not black tar

The article also mentions a case in Miami involving heroin, a horse, and an anal cavity, but let’s not go any further there.

The animals don’t need to be alive either. The NZ Herald has a story about Methamphetamine being stuffed inside dead birds and thrown over the prison walls. Personally, we prefer the tennis balls.

Diapers

Diapers ain’t just for crazed NASA astronauts anymore.

According to the Montgomery Advertiser, a woman tried to get drugs to her husband by putting pills into their baby’s diaper. From news.com.au: underwear is a popular item of transport, and sometimes even a damn baby.

I Hope Nowak Has An Alibi

Toys

Children’s toys are a popular item for smuggling (sometimes the kids themeselves). Metro West Daily News mentions a little girl’s play desk, toy chest, and Cinderella costume with sleeves full of pot.

The funniest one recently involves ecstasy being smuggled inside Mr. Potato Head. All Headline News says Australian customs found the stuff in a package from Ireland. Mr. Potato Head had 293 grams of E. Forget the Potato Famine, we’ve got a major bean shortage!

Hey, why are you so happy, Mr. Potato Head?

Oh, right!