baby been hit one too many times

By now, talk of Britney’s uninspired performance at the Video Music Awards has been done to death.

Personally, I found out about it while flipping channels in a Novotel in Europe (yes, I mention this only to tell you that I recently was in Europe), stopping when CNN of all networks put up a crappy graphic of a tombstone with BRITNEY’S CAREER RIP on it. Later I sat through some portion of the actual footage. It wasn’t horrible, just uninspired and banal. She phoned it in.

If it were anyone else we wouldn’t be talking about it. But it was Britney, and it fell far short of amazing. I mean, she’s probably still in attractive-to-the-general-populace “McHitIt” territory, but for Brit she looked like hell.

So what do you do when your physique is mediocre and your career is coming to an end? Demand the cover of Maxim, of course:

“Brit’s in damage control mode now. She’s been talking to the folks at Maxim about doing a photo shoot,” a friend of the pop princess tells OK! exclusively, referring to the popular men’s magazine that has been a career-boosting showcase for celebrities like Jessica Alba and Eva Longoria. “She wants to be on the cover as quickly as they can shoot her.” Britney’s decision to go for men’s magazine cover stardom is based solely on her past success with selling herself as an object of desire.

Do not want. K? Thx. Bai. Maybe she should aim lower, you know, like Milfhunter or something. I don’t know.