“Wow, Roman. Pretty good for 13!”

Excerpts from the Onion AV Club Interview with Brett Ratner and Chris Tucker:

Tucker: “Brett’s gotta be involved with this, because you know how it is.” He is like the new Spielberg, you know? He’s a creative person. A lot of directors, they’re creative, but they’re different. He is the new Spielberg.

Unaware that his credibility has been destroyed within the first 30 seconds of the interview, Tucker continues:

Tucker: I love traveling. It not only opens my mind up, but it also allows me to use my fame in another way through humanitarian works and stuff, and being an influence around the world. I was doing Africa stuff long before it became popular. People was saying, “What are you doing in Africa?” Now George Clooney’s doing it, and Don Cheadle, and people [are] adopting babies. I was around the world, and because I wasn’t working, people didn’t know what I doing, but I was doing that. It really helped me in life to appreciate stuff, and appreciate what I have, and understand what I do in my work. Making people laugh is giving, and it’s healing, too, when people can go up to the movies and forget about their problems. It’s a good thing. That’s why I want to work. I want to keep working, I want to keep doing my humanitarian stuff around the world, shining light on different places that have problems.

Well, every little bit helps, I guess. I personally like the old “I was in Africa making starving people laugh when you were in grade school, Angelina!” bit. Hell of a trendsetter, that guy! Whatever’s in fashion these days, I guess.

Brett Ratner: I was in Paris, getting ready to shoot, and I had lunch with [Roman Polanski], and he said, “What are you doing?” And I said, “I’m here shooting Rush Hour 3,” and he said, “Oh, man, I love Rush Hour.” I said, “Listen, you should be in it,” just as a joke. So he said, “Well, what would I do?” And I said, “I’ll get back to you tomorrow night.” I call up the writer Jeff Nathanson and I say, “You’ve got to write up a scene for Roman Polanski!” He said, “He’s not being in the movie.” I said, “Yes, he is! I’m telling you he’s doing it!” So he faxed me the pages to the hotel, and the next day I met with Roman, gave him the pages, and he said, “Let’s do it.”

Then Ratner drops this:

Ratner: Again, when critics or people judge, I think it’s harder to make a commercial, pop movie than it is to make a pretentious art film. It’s harder to reach millions and millions of people and satisfy them and make them happy.

Yes, it’s so hard to make Rush Hour 3 that he told his writer to write a bit for Polanski and overnight it was done. I guess Nathanson is just that good.

Ratner on Black: I love everything black, because black is cool. When something crosses over, people are like, “Oh, this is a crossover.” First of all, there is no urban anymore. Pop culture is black. White kids are dressing like black kids. It’s all crossed the lines now. The way I understand it is, everything black is cool. When it crosses over to white, that means it’s going from cool to uncool. Since I was a kid, all the kids who were dancing, the best dancers, were black. The fastest runners were black. The flyest dressers were black. They were always the trend-setting, cutting-edge, coolest people. That’s who I wanted to engage myself with, those people. I was just attracted to that, and that’s what I understand, and that’s whey we’re sitting here today, that’s how this all came up, because I was fascinated with hip-hop music and black comedy. Kung fu was a big part of it. Chris watched martial arts movies, I watch them, so I did the same thing in Miami Beach, being a tacky Jew from Miami, as a hip-hop kid would do. If you become a rapper, you get a Rolex with diamonds on it. That’s all I wanted. White people are completely different, but I’m Jewish, so I’m like a black man. [Laughs.]

Ratner on Jacko: It’s like God is channeling through him. He’s at a whole other level, spiritually. He’s got the God spot. He has it. It’s right there, and when he starts to sing, God has just opened it up for him. That’s why he’s not comfortable around people and things, because he’s just such a unique—he feels blessed just to be himself. “I can’t believe I’m Michael Jackson.” [Laughs.] I’ve spent a lot of time with him, so has Chris. Just sitting in the back of a car, and music playing, and then him, he moves like God is going through him. He’s amazing, he really is amazing. He’s got a bad rap, but the truth is, he’s a child. Michael Jackson never grew up, but that’s what makes him so special.

He’s special, all right.

Ratner on the best part of being Ratner: All the girls. [Laughs.] ….. Having a mansion, or having all of these Ferraris. You get that because you’re good at your job…. all that stuff comes eventually.

I’m still waiting for my Ferrari.

Rush Hour 3 opens Friday, August 10th.