NBC posted a really funny slideshow about the trouble with Texas high school girl cheerleaders known as the FAB FIVE.

Now, when I saw the first image there, I was like “Hey-ohhhhh” before I realized that the photo was most likely created by NBC for the, ahem, “story”. Anyway, I give props to NBC for this laughable slideshow - it’s main focus is titilation while it pretends to be “news”.

As for the “Fab 5″ girls, well, I find the controversy quite amusing…

Here’s a Newsweek article called “Mean Girls”

Excerpts:

Jan. 2, 2007 - The pictures posted on MySpace.com looked like the latest installment of “Girls Gone Wild.” In them, cheerleaders from McKinney North High School in Texas exhibited all variety of bawdy behavior. One shot showed a bikini-clad girl sharing a bottle of booze with a friend. Another featured a cheerleader and several other girls in risqué poses offering glimpses of their panties. But the most infamous photo of all was taken in a Condoms To Go store. Five smiling cheerleaders dressed in uniform posed with large candles shaped like penises. At least one of them appeared to be simulating fellatio. “It would be an overstatement to describe any of the photographs as pornographic, but it would be an understatement to describe them as harmless high jinks,” wrote Harold Jones, a lawyer hired by the school district to investigate the incident. “Quite frankly, I personally found it ‘creepy’.”

The photos are at the heart of a scandal that has rocked McKinney, an affluent bedroom community north of Dallas. By many accounts, the group of cheerleaders, known as the “Fab Five,” were out of control—an elite social clique that flagrantly flouted school rules but faced few sanctions. In many ways, they seemed like the stereotypical “mean girls” that periodically trigger bouts of consternation among parents. But there’s an added wrinkle to their tale: the Fab Five’s alleged ringleader was the daughter of McKinney North’s principal, Linda Theret. Amid charges that Theret gave the girls preferential treatment, the school district launched a $40,000 investigation conducted by Jones in the fall. His 70-page report, which harshly criticized Theret and assistant principal Richard Brunner, helped prompt Theret’s resignation on Dec. 21 (Brunner remains on paid leave as he fights to retain his job). But Jones’s report takes plenty of others to task as well, from parents to police. “Kids will be kids, but adults have to be adults,” he wrote. “Sadly, in this saga, I was struck by the reticence of many adults to accept the role of ‘being the grown-up’.”

The cheerleaders had reportedly been a menace long before the condom-store episode, according to the report. When one teacher told a squad member to quit chatting on her cell phone in class, the girl replied, “Shut up, I’m talking to my Mom.” On a separate occasion, she offered this response to the teacher’s reprimand: “Pull your panties out of a wad.” “Gang members were nothing compared to these girls,” the teacher told Jones. “They believe they cannot be touched.” The girls were apparently just as ornery in their cheerleading activities, leading five coaches to quit in the last three years. The principal’s daughter flipped off one former coach. But instead of kicking the daughter off the squad, school administrators allowed her to quit so she could try out the following year. After the incident, the coach told Jones, Theret “tried to ruin my life over this. I was called a liar, crazy, on meds.” (Theret’s attorney denies this.)

“Gang members are nothing compared to these girls.” Man, my sides are splitting. Has that teacher even stepped outside McKinney? God, I love rich suburbia. The controversies! The drama!

I have not been able to find the Myspace profiles or photos in question. (Anyone? Bueller?) However, I found some Flickr Photos (click the thumbnails for larger images).

Man, was I born in the wrong time or what? We’ve got real-life Heathers here, and they’re all drinking milk laced with growth hormones. That Texas beef is something else.

I was just thinking that the Internet is becoming a catalyst for a merging of Hollywood and reality. Soon, we will all have cameras at all times. Soon, we will all have special names.

By the way, Condoms to Go is located at 4 convenient locations in the Dallas area. There’s also a Sarah’s Secret. From McKinney High School, just head south on US-75.