Odd Culture

Ben Affleck Cinema: The Sum of All Fears (2002)

Written by Bill G on April 18th, 2005 in Movies.

Ben Affleck Cinema

The Sum of All Fears (2002)
Director: Phil Alden Robinson
Starring: Ben Affleck, Morgan Freeman

Rating: Ben AffleckBen AffleckBen Affleck

Our favorite BA is back, and I don’t mean BA Baracus from the A-Team. This time he plays the role he was born for - CIA operative Jack Ryan! Rumors that Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford had previously played Jack Ryan are just that - rumors, and I shall thank you for not bringing up such nonsense ever again.

The Sum of All Fears
I was the bomb in Phantoms, right guys?

As you can see, after our last episode Jack Ryan came upon the fountain of youth, and started aging backwards! In fact, the elixir that he drank was so powerful, that it actually reversed his work experience as well, so when our movie The Sum of All Fears begins, he is just a wet-behind-the-ears rookie at CIA headquarters. But he’s not just Jack Ryan, he’s Ben Affleck… and thank God for that because the evil Nazis are back and they’re ready to start some shit.

The Sum of All Fears
See? Nazis! I wasn’t lyin’!

Helping out Mr. Affleck is President Fowler, played by James Cromwell, who used to take care of a talking pig. And then afterwards he invented warp drive, or something. But at some point in his illustrious career he was president - trust me on this.

The Sum of All Fears
That’ll do, Veep.

In case you were wondering what Affleck foot-love looked like, well, here you go:

The Sum of All Fears
Celebrity Feet! (You’re welcome.)

After making footsie with his girlfriend, BA goes to work with DCI William Cabot, played by Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is good at playing the experienced mentor to some naive rookie. How weird that he actually plays the mentor in the movie and Ben A actually plays the rookie!

The Sum of All Fears
"I went through this with Pitt already"

Playing the bad guy this time around is Russian president Nemerov, played by Irish actor Ciarán Hinds. Irish, Russian.. what’s the difference, really? Except that this Russian is the red herring. It’s these rich neo-Nazi dudes who are trying to use him to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest. (If you don’t know what country that is, I shall say Nee! to you in perpetuity.)

The Sum of All Fears
"Damn, I am so Russian right now."

First, the Nazis need a nuke, and happen to find one in Syria. And yes, the scavengers below are actually disappointed that the bomb they found didn’t go off.

The Sum of All Fears
"Wait for the box office numbers before passing judgment, dude."

Don’t worry though - it goes off later. But it happens in Baltimore and I don’t think anybody important lives there, so don’t worry about this too much.

The Sum of All Fears

Good luck filing a claim on this one…

At this point, we are all itching for more Affleck action, so here it is:

The Sum of All Fears
Affleck!

The Sum of All Fears
Affleck!

Aflac Duck
AFLAC!

Just kidding…

The Sum of All Fears
Affleck!

Anyway, some other stuff happens that usually happens in Tom Clancy novels… Ben helps to avert total nuclear annihilation, and the bad guys are later dispatched Mafia-style.

The Sum of All Fears
Ex-pats at exile.ru can’t hide for long

Finally, Ben and his girlfriend share good times near the White House lawn, reminiscing about how Kevin Smith is a funny guy, and how J-Lo is a really good friend still. But only a friend. Really, honey, don’t worry about her.

The Sum of All Fears
Damn, I was the bomb in Phantoms, yo.

You can get The Sum of All Fears (Special Collector’s Edition) on DVD through Amazon:

Or you can view it directly online or through your Tivo using Amazon Unbox

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