Dear Universal Studios,

I would like to complain about my recent trip to Halloween Horror Nights 13, on Saturday, October 25th, 2003. When paying $45, I simply expect more fun than simply wading through a large sea of people and waiting on lines for 2 hours just to see a shitty 5 minute haunted house.

Now, I understand that the purpose of your theme parks is to make money, and I respect that. But was it necessary to allow so many people into the park? You couldn’t have trimmed the guest capacity by perhaps a third? Or a fourth? Your park was open from 7pm -2am. Should my friend and I have to wait 90 minutes in line (8:30pm) , 90 minutes in another line (10pm), 120 minutes in a third line (12am)… you see where I’m going with this, yes?

And another thing: you and I have very different ideas about what is scary. Weird jungle-looking guys banging on metal - not scary (annoying). Foam machines in the street - not scary (annoying). Fake-chainsaw-wielding guys everywhere - perhaps scary the first time (after that - annoying).

Now - granted - not all of it was your fault. Perhaps it was bad luck that the Marlins won the world series that night, and we had to endure constant shouts of “Let’s Go Marlins” everywhere we went - which is great if you’re at the game or watching it from your buddy’s house - but really spoils the mood at a Halloween attraction. So be it.

Oh, and by the way, please stop charging 5.75 for mixed drinks with hardly any alcohol in it.

Thanks,

Bill G