Entries 1 through 5
Beverly Hills Cop III (1994)
Not only the worst in the Beverly Hills Cop series (which is why they never made a fourth), this piece of crap is tragic for a few other reasons. One is that it’s directed by John Landis, the guy who directed Trading Places and Animal House, so you really expected it to be at least passable (it’s not). It’s also tragic that this movie (roughly) marks the turning point in Eddy Murphy’s career, where his movies take a distinct turn for the worse. Every character is an idiot in this movie (your little kid sister can spot the obvious inconsistency in a tampered video recording), the whole Wonderworld theme park thing turns the movie into a kids film, and the ending is cringe inducing, as Landis apparently finds it hilarious that our heroes are riddled with bullets from machine guns. Haha, funny. The reappearance of (“Serge”) only underscores the movie’s desperation.
Star Wars – Episode I, The Phantom Menace (1999)
Technically, not a sequel but a “prequel”, but still… this film is just horrible. It’s tough to decide which character is more unbearable – the Steppin Fetchit wannaba Jar Jar Binks or the whiny little bastard Jake Lloyd, who couldn’t act his way out of a Star Wars Happy Meal box. (Those exist, right?) One of the most disappointing sequels ever – after so much buildup, to get served this trash by Lucas is unforgivable. Even an awesome light saber battle at the end can’t save it. Yippeeee! Check out the great Rifftrax version:
Caddyshack 2 (1988)
Randy Quaid’s performance in this piece of shit is considered the best thing about it. That’s amusing, because he really really sucks in it. The first Caddyshack is a classic comedy featuring top comedians. This one is so bad you gotta wonder how it even got greenlit. Chevy Chase cameos, but Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield, Michael O’Keefe, and Cindy Morgan all saw fit to stay far away from this sinking ship. (Ted Knight gets a pass for being dead, but if he was alive at the time we are sure he would have skipped out too). But instead, how about Jackie Mason doing Catskills jokes? Surely that’s a good consolation prize?
Batman & Robin (1997)
The awful, bad, ridiculous, horrible, stupid, asinine, unforgivable Batman and Robin stars the Governator making goofy one liners (“Everybody chill”, “What killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!”, etc), and our “heroes” George Clooney, Chris O’Donnell, and Alicia Silverstone looking as gay and silly as possible. Thanks, Joel Schumacher. Thanks for ruining the Adam West franchise. Yes, we said Adam West. The best thing to do is to watch this YouTube vid of the “Best” or “Worst” (depending on your point of view) of the stinky Batman and Robin:
Troll 2 (1990)
It’s not that Troll was a masterpiece or anything. Truth be told, the first movie was so-so at best. But, Troll 2 is the Citizen Kane of Bad Movies. Or is that the Plan 9 from Outer Space of Bad Movies? Wow, these analogy things are really difficult.
In any case, it’s hands-down the worst sequel ever made, and probably one of the worst movies ever. It’s also one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies ever mode. Troll 2 is pure comedy gold, but for all the wrong reasons. It would take a long time to document all the inanities of Troll 2 – the kernel popping scene, the nonsensical dialogue, the fact that there are no trolls in it… anyway, just take a look for yourself….if you can handle it.
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